I can't believe I've already been here for over 2 weeks. It feels likes it has been months already...
So, this week has been pretty interesting with the Lord. It has definitely been a collection of ups and downs--highs and lows.
To fill you in a little bit...
In the final week of the spring semester, I really feel like the Lord put the thought of teaching internationally on my heart. Because my dad had worked internationally, I was fortunate enough to travel to several different countries with my family before going to college. However, if I'm not mistaken I think this endeavor might be far from overpriced trinkets and insouciant days filled with tourist attractions. If I'm being honest with myself and with you, I would say that the idea absolutely scares me. I constantly fear the unknown, and this type of adventure would be exactly that. Why me, Lord? Isn't pursuing a career in Education taking a big enough step of faith? I don't know a second language. (I did manage to make it through two years of high school Spanish, but by no means am I close to being fluent!). Why another country? Why can't you just use me here? It would be so much more comfortable...and that's where I caught myself. Who said my life is supposed to be comfortable? Who am I to put stipulations on God's calling? It is almost the same as saying, "Use me...just not there or there, oh and probably not that place either."
As I was thinking about this, the Lord reminded me of when he revealed his purpose for Moses:
"But Moses said to the Lord, 'Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent...I am slow of speech and of tongue.' Then the Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is is not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.' But he said, 'Oh, my Lord please send someone else.'...and he said, '...I will be with your mouth...and will teach you both what to do.'"
(Exodus 4: 10-16)
(Exodus 4: 10-16)
I find myself able to relate with Moses in this situation. God calls him. Moses makes excuses. God reminds him. Moses pleads. God chooses him still. A lot of times I feel ill-equipped within ministry because of various insecurities, but I think this passage just proves I'm not alone. Even though Moses had a stuttering problem, God still used him in incredible ways. The Lord definitely made no mistake in calling someone who seemed ill-equipped. Moses' insecurities were used to bring God glory. So, even though right now I'm incredible fearful of what the future holds, God has definitely reminded me this week that He is going to use me just as I am. There's no prerequisites for the Lord's calling. He's fully aware of my weakness, my incapability, and my inadequacy, yet he still chooses me.
What the Lord has been teaching me this week:
-He fills in the gaps that my weaknesses produce.
-Surrendering means surrendering without reservations.
-He will equip me if this is truly what he wants me to do.
Some Pics from the Week:
The beautiful view from Deer Mountain.
Me and Tierra during project day.
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