Well, it has definitely taken a while for me to get around to writing this post. After returning to the U.S., the next couple of weeks were filled with moving houses, a weekend away, a retreat, and a trip back to Oklahoma. Needless to say, it has taken me a little while to step back, take a breath, and begin to sort through exactly what all happened in Nigeria. The events of our final day there also added to the prolonging of this process.
In a typical day:
Now for a couple stories...
And then the accident...
I woke up Monday morning (the day of our departure) with swollen eyes marked by the large amount of tears shed the night before. Sunday was spent rejoicing over friendships, yet mourning over our soon departure. That morning, I remember being very decided that I was no where near ready to leave. We all piled in the missionary van that would carry us for 6-7 hours to the airport, where we would wait another 6 hours to board our plane. The roads in Nigeria are filled with potholes, so the driver too his time articulately maneuvering in between. However, about an hour and a half into our trip we gained speed on a short stretch of road that was rather smooth as we entered a village. Jenni, our team leader, noticed that our van was approaching a parked car slightly off to the shoulder as we travelled at approximately 50-60mph. The instance she realized the driver did not see the parked van, she yelled out the driver's name and hit his shoulder. Seconds later we slammed into the back of the parked van and our whole team was thrown from our seats. Nigerians fled to the scene as they started aiding the team out of the smoking vehicle and making arrangements to get us to the nearby clinic. Luckily, our team was not too severely injured. After a few team members got stitched up and a new van was retrieved from Egbe, truly by the grace of God, we made it to the airport with only 20 minutes to spare.
And how I feel now...
Arrival back in the U.S. was pretty difficult for me. As I said earlier, I was not ready to come home. I attempted to reject certain parts of the American culture, but that didn't last long. The Lord gave me a pretty strong wake-up call when I was at the retreat. I was spending the morning with him while processing through different parts of the trip. I realized that I was having a hard time adjusting back to our culture and being here mentally. I would say about 90% of me was still attached to Africa, which isn't completely helpful when trying to plan, pray about, and seek vision for everything happening here. But the Lord gently led me to John 21 where Jesus asks Peter a few questions. "Peter, do you love me?" "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." "Feed my lambs." As I was reading, I couldn't help but imagine the Lord asking me this question. I feel as if I would respond similarly to Peter in this situation, but then the Lord showed me that my heart was divided. His "lambs" are not only the precious friends I met in Nigeria, but the students of Texas A&M, co-workers, homegroup members...everyone in between. I am grateful for the discipline of the Lord, and I'm definitely excited about what this semester holds. I know I don't have to let go of a single thing that happened in Nigeria, but the Lord has placed me here for now.
So here I'll be.
In a typical day:
- We would spend the morning working at the Egbe E.C.W.A Hospital assisting in the Samaritan's Purse Revitalization Project . We organized and painted a large supply room, prepared houses for incoming missionaries, and inventoried large shipping containers. This allowed for some quality bonding time for our team.
- In the afternoon, we would go up to the HELP Care Center to be with the kids. The Care Center is home to 39 children (10 girls and 29 boys). Our main focus was getting to know the kids and building discipleship-like relationships with them. We also worked with the kids on their math and reading skills through tutoring times (sometimes twice a day).
- Each Wednesday, we split the younger kids into two different age groups and taught a lesson. The lessons focussed on different truths about who God is in regards to His love for us as orphans.
- Each Thursday, we went to the hospital to help one of the missionaries prepare bags of food to pass out to patients and their families. When we delivered them in each of the hospital wards, we prayed over patients and one of our team members would sing a "special number."
- Each Sunday, we loaded up the Care Center bus with all 39 kids and missionaries to go to church at the Chapel of Blessing. This included much dancing and singing (even dancing down the aisle to place our offering in the basket at the front!).
The Chapel of Blessing
Now for a couple stories...
The first story begins with Dupe, a slightly shy, but
energetic 8 year old girl. Dupe and I formed a friendship early on in the first
week. Throughout the three weeks she rarely left my side. One evening Dupe runs
over to me. She looks at me and says “your legs”—motioning at my crossed legs
as she waits patiently for me to uncross them. She then proceeds to crawl up
into my lap. Then, she looks at me and wraps her arms around my neck as she
snuggles up under my chin, and there she stays for a few minutes. I felt a love
for her that I’ve never felt before as I wrapped my arms around her small
frame. In that moment, I felt like the Lord spoke, And this is how I feel about you. I love when you crawl up on my lap to
just sit in my presence. I love to love you my child. That’s when I
realized that the Lord wanted to give me a glimpse of his heart as a Father.
Dupe
One morning during my
time with the Lord, I began reading in John 14, “In my Father’s house are many
rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place
for you?” As I was reading this I began to actually feel a glimpse of his heart
for his children. I felt pretty strongly that he wanted me to share this truth
with one of the girls. Later that day, I ended up sitting with Titi (an
intermediate girl). I had never really talked with Titi, but I could feel the Lord’s
hand in our conversation, so I asked her if I could share something that I had
been thinking about recently. I shared the truth that God is the perfect Father
and how he cares for us as his children. In his house, we find a real sense of
security and safety—a sense of belonging that we were made for. When I finished
sharing with Titi, she turned to me and said, “Oh, I really really like that
story!”
Titi
I would have to say my
favorite part of the trip was going to the hospital each week to pray for
patients and their families. Before the trip, I had felt that the Lord asked me
to pray for confidence. I had no idea what that would look like, but I prayed
nonetheless. However, it became clear in each of our visits to the hospital
wards. At times it felt like I was just opening my mouth and the Lord provided
the words. He revealed to me that my prayers really could have power and
authority over sickness and discouragement. I became alive during these times
because I felt as if I was truly partnering with what the Lord wanted to convey
to the patients and their families. He grew me in confidence in order to be
more effective for his purpose. It was times likes these and several others
that affected me deeply.
I woke up Monday morning (the day of our departure) with swollen eyes marked by the large amount of tears shed the night before. Sunday was spent rejoicing over friendships, yet mourning over our soon departure. That morning, I remember being very decided that I was no where near ready to leave. We all piled in the missionary van that would carry us for 6-7 hours to the airport, where we would wait another 6 hours to board our plane. The roads in Nigeria are filled with potholes, so the driver too his time articulately maneuvering in between. However, about an hour and a half into our trip we gained speed on a short stretch of road that was rather smooth as we entered a village. Jenni, our team leader, noticed that our van was approaching a parked car slightly off to the shoulder as we travelled at approximately 50-60mph. The instance she realized the driver did not see the parked van, she yelled out the driver's name and hit his shoulder. Seconds later we slammed into the back of the parked van and our whole team was thrown from our seats. Nigerians fled to the scene as they started aiding the team out of the smoking vehicle and making arrangements to get us to the nearby clinic. Luckily, our team was not too severely injured. After a few team members got stitched up and a new van was retrieved from Egbe, truly by the grace of God, we made it to the airport with only 20 minutes to spare.
And how I feel now...
Arrival back in the U.S. was pretty difficult for me. As I said earlier, I was not ready to come home. I attempted to reject certain parts of the American culture, but that didn't last long. The Lord gave me a pretty strong wake-up call when I was at the retreat. I was spending the morning with him while processing through different parts of the trip. I realized that I was having a hard time adjusting back to our culture and being here mentally. I would say about 90% of me was still attached to Africa, which isn't completely helpful when trying to plan, pray about, and seek vision for everything happening here. But the Lord gently led me to John 21 where Jesus asks Peter a few questions. "Peter, do you love me?" "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." "Feed my lambs." As I was reading, I couldn't help but imagine the Lord asking me this question. I feel as if I would respond similarly to Peter in this situation, but then the Lord showed me that my heart was divided. His "lambs" are not only the precious friends I met in Nigeria, but the students of Texas A&M, co-workers, homegroup members...everyone in between. I am grateful for the discipline of the Lord, and I'm definitely excited about what this semester holds. I know I don't have to let go of a single thing that happened in Nigeria, but the Lord has placed me here for now.
So here I'll be.
This is our beautiful team dressed up for the high school graduation. This picture doesn't have to do with anything really--I just like our clothes.
Photo Credit: Jenni O Photo
