The Wild

Yesterday morning as I sat down at the Divine Experiment, I felt very empty. I felt disconnected from God. I was even starting to have doubts about my relationship with Jesus. If he loved me as much as he says he does, why wouldn't I feel loved? As I kind of started processing through why I would be feeling this way, I figured it out...

Jesus is a dangerous lover.

Take a look at his reaction in the temple:

"..And he entered the temple and began to drive out those who sold and those who bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons...'Is it not written, My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations? But you have made it a den of robbers.' And the chief priests and the scribes heard it and were seeking a way to destroy him, for they feared him, because all the crowd was astonished at his teaching." (Mark 11: 15-18)

This gives me a little different picture of Jesus than just the picturesque and beaming image we so often paint for ourselves. He is a dangerous lover. He is wild.

I have reduced the value of my relationship with Jesus. Recently, I've been so enveloped in the loving side of Jesus that I lost sight of Jesus' adventurous side. I've stuck myself in a comfortable place, a complacent place in our relationship. As long as he's the one pursuing and wooing me then it's all good...nope, not really. It has been all about what I can get from him.  What came to mind when I thought about this is one of those incredibly clingy couples you see at the mall or maybe the movies. I don't want to be the one simply clinging onto Jesus in hope of bettering my spirituality. Don't get me wrong, we are supposed to cling to Jesus, but not in a hollow, meaningless way. This is a two-sided romance we have been called into. What happened to the admiration, respect, and even fear I once felt with Jesus?

He is begging to take me into the wild, but I'm convinced a stroll in the park on a sunny afternoon is REALLY what I need. Wrong. Jesus is ready to take me deeper into the mystery before me, but some how my heels are dug deep into the dirt like a stubborn child. I confess I'm stubborn. I like being comfortable, and I'm sure most of you do too. However, in the wild, in the midst of our vulnerability is where we truly meet with our lover. He is so incredibly patient with me as I drag him into my life. It's like I'm trying to show him off to society...hey look who I'm in a relationship with! Yes, it's great to be public about your relationship with him, but I think I've lost sight of exactly who is on the other side. There is so much more depth behind the romance. It's not just some fling that we indulge in for a short time period and carelessly move on. This is Jesus we are talking about. He fights for me because I'm his beloved. How am I not in awe of this concept? He fights for me? Yes, over and over again. While I've been so busy disregarding this side of his personality and masking it with warmth and fuzziness, he remains patiently waiting. Everything is packed and ready, but distrust sneaks over me. He assuredly takes my shaking hand in his and says "let's go." 

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Anchored by His Grace: Beauty Unfailing

Wanted to share these words that a beautiful friend and woman of God wrote about true beauty. Anchored by His Grace: Beauty Unfailing: A while ago, probably about April or May of 2011, I set out in search to find the true meaning of beauty.   I wanted to know what true be...

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Beloved

You know me. 
You delight in me. 
You romance me. 
You call me beloved. 

You find me worthy of pursuit. 
You woo me again and again.
You give me incomprehensible joy. 
You call me beloved. 

You satisfy me. 
You treasure me. 
You enrapture me. 
You call me beloved. 

You show me real intimacy. 
You sing love songs over me. 
You are my bridegroom. 
I'm your beloved. 

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Wildfire

Take a second and think about what a wildfire actually looks like. I don't mean a precious little campfire in the middle of scenic campgrounds encircled by smores and happiness. I mean the dangerous kind...maybe even fatal. I was reading in Luke 13 this morning when I came across Jesus' description of the kingdom of God.

¹⁸ Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? ¹⁹ It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

²⁰ Again he asked, “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? ²¹ It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds^[a] of flour until it worked all through the dough.”

Jesus compares the kingdom to a mustard seed, saying it will grow to become a tree. An impossibly small (1-2mm in diameter) seed growing into a tree. Okay, now think about the second comparison: yeast being mixed into 60 pounds of flour until it all eventually becomes dough. I want to point out the fact that yeast is what makes the bread rise (if you didn't know that already). One bushel of wheat yields 60 pounds of flour. ONE bushel. 60 pounds of flour yields about 90 loaves of whole-wheat bread (that's enough to feed about 1080 people). Think about the magnitude of this. All this from a tiny start. When I was trying to comprehend these similes, a thought kept crossing my mind. A wildfire. 

The kingdom of God is like a wildfire. 

I asked you earlier to picture what you thought a wildfire looked like. Bring back that image. A dangerous, consuming, overbearing, uncontainable fire. The brush and trees don't have anyway to escape. They can't help but be transformed into something completely different at the mercy of this raging fire. What about the fire? Does it have anyway of holding back? What would this look like if this was God's kingdom, if every single person were consumed by the fire? The kingdom couldn't help but be transformed by this infectious desire for our Lover. The fire couldn't contain the Holy Spirit that ignited it in the first place. This is what I want. I want to be the spark that starts the infection. I challenge you to pray this over your community--that you can be the fire spreading, transforming the kingdom of God. 

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