Running Away

"Running Away" 

My soul hurts here. 
I'm faithless right now, Father 
In this place of self-pity. 
I can't stand it hardly any longer. 

I want out.
Why won't you just let me go? 
I don't need your embraces. 
It's been so long, I think I'd know. 

I'm stubborn, Lord. 
My head tells me 
You still want me. 
But, my heart says don't believe me. 

Are you still there?
Where have you gone?
This pain is suffocating.
I can't hold my breath for long. 

You promised me sweet, sweet places.
You invited me to "come away".
That's what I long for and desire most,  
But, I'm already prepared to run the other way. 

This place is broken, scattered, 
Tattered, and falling apart.
It's withering slowly. 
God, I'm desperate for a new heart. 

In me, why do you take such delight?
If only you could see into this cloud
Of filth and shame and see that
Your bride's not spotless and white.  

Bring life again to this dry place. 
Let my heart swell at the mention of your name.
Teach it to dance again with you precious one.  
Oh precious one, the one that was slain. 

You ask me, "Where are you running to?"
To you it seems already so clear. 
"A better place," I reply from my clouded thoughts,    
But you answer, "Child, you're already here."


-Jordan Miller 

Categories: brokenness