A couple relationships have really been put on my heart this week. I've become aware of how afraid I am of changing how I interact with certain people. Honestly, I'm afraid to go deeper in complete fear that doing so would be neither received or appreciated. The emotional distance between us has grown farther and farther throughout the years. Hurt works its way to the surface as I'm reminded of exactly how wide that gap is. My whole being longs to know each of these individuals better. I want so badly for our relationships to be a safe place for one another. Instead I'm met with towering walls too high to allow the vulnerability of the heart to pierce its thickness. In a way, I'm thankful that the Lord has brought this up because I'm reassured that I haven't become apathetic. I'm attempting to rely on the Lord in my grief over what has become of these relationships and trust that in his time there will be healing and understanding.
During project day, we went to Boulder for evangelism. I woke up that morning with absolutely no explanation for how I was feeling. Expecting nervousness, I was surprised by eagerness. When we arrived in Boulder, everyone was put into pairs and sent out. My partner and I walked around for a little while praying for the Lord to put specific people on our heart. Man, did he provide. We had several good conversations with a variety of people from differing backgrounds and religious practices. I think one of the most encouraging conversations was with a man named Doug. Raised in the Presbyterian church, Doug was very familiar with the Christian church. However, when asked why he decided to pursue Atheism instead, the wounds began to surface. He explained how he found Christians incredibly hypocritical and obsessed with the church. My partner and I began to speak truth into the lies he had believed about Christianity. Some kind of seed was definitely planted within those deserted lies as he told us how appreciative he was that we were talking about what following Jesus was really intended to look like. Even though we will most likely never see Doug again, I trust that the Lord is going to continue working on his heart.
Prayer Requests for Boulder:
- Alexis is a Buddhist who is now studying Christianity. Pray that the Lord would reveal himself to her through her studies.
- Jordan is an Atheist who just got laid off from his job as a pilot. Pray that he would see the Lord's faithfulness for the first time in his search of a job.
- Doug is an Atheist who has been hurt by hypocritical Christians and the church. Pray that he would be able to look beyond religion and see the intimacy and truth of Jesus.
- Rob is a Christian who was laid off from his job a couple of months ago (leaving him homeless) who is travelling to Alaska in search of work. Pray that he would continue to praise the Lord even in his current trials.
What the Lord has been teaching me this week:
-Nothing I can do out of my own strength will mend a hurting relationship.
-I do have a heart for evangelism.
-Even if I don't feel equipped to share, the Lord provides opportunities for me to learn.
-Nothing I can do out of my own strength will mend a hurting relationship.
-I do have a heart for evangelism.
-Even if I don't feel equipped to share, the Lord provides opportunities for me to learn.
Some Pics from the Week:
Most of the girls from my project group celebrating Hayley's birthday in town.
Me, Emily, and Julie at dinner.
Project day in Boulder.
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