Don't you see you can trust Me?

The past few days I have been very anxious. My thoughts have been racing a million miles and hour, yet I haven't had the strength to sit in silence before the Lord. Knowing that I hear the Lord most clearly through music, I sat myself down at the piano. I started singing about my weakness before the Lord when I felt like he gave me this chorus. He sings over me, "Don't you see, you can trust me? Won't you lean on me?" He invites me into his presence where there is peace and stability. All he asks is for me to come sit at his feet and soak in his goodness.

Here's the link: 
https://soundcloud.com/jordanmiller-9/prophetic-dont-you-see

Read More

Blinded

As I was reading through Acts this past week, I couldn't get this passage out of my mind. Take a look at Acts 9. Right before this chapter we find out that Saul has basically been beating down people's doors and dragging them off to prison just for believing in Jesus. In chapter 9 he decides to continue onward to Damascus in pursuit of a similar goal. At this point, Saul's biggest concern and probably most prevalent thing on his mind is persecuting the name of Christ.  However, little does he know, the name of Christ is the very thing that will soon shatter all other indulgences. He will soon become wrecked by Jesus and indulge in his beauty alone. Out of fear, Saul crumples to the ground and timidly asks, "Who are you Lord?" After this interaction Saul opens his eyes, but he sees nothing. He has been blinded by the very luminescence of the Lord.

Recently, I've been asking that very same question myself. Who are you Lord? Honestly, I felt like I had kind of lost sight of who Jesus is. With that, came an avoidance of really calling on his name. However, the Lord definitely answered that prayer this last week by revealing his role in this passage. The Lord temporarily blinded Saul, forcing the once prideful and seemingly supreme man to fall to the ground in humility and absolute fear. What does this have to do with me? Unfortunately, I was not physically blinded by the presence of God. However, the Lord magnetized my attention to him in a different way. This past Friday morning at AMP (A.M. Prayer) a lot of the set was focused on how truly worthy Jesus is of worship. We sang through lyrics about the beauty of Jesus, the glory of Jesus, and his incredible worth. In the middle of that set, it hit me. Everything else became irrelevant, as every word that left my lips became the absolute desires of my longing heart for my King. All I wanted was Jesus, nothing else could satisfy. I was rightly blinded by love for him. I fell in love with Jesus again. 

Read More

LT (Week 10)

Less than 2 weeks...

My mind has been extremely busy this week--making it difficult to spend time with the Lord. Of course the future--near and far--is still a forerunner of the seemingly endless list of thoughts that pass through each day. I've felt pretty discontent with myself for not making time for the Lord. I'm anxious to leave, and I'm anxious for this next semester. However, Wednesday morning He sweetly reminded me of my need for Him once again. I felt the Lord really putting it on my heart to have a night of prayer and worship, literally a whole night. So, after LT service on Tuesday several of us gathered in one of the chapels to pursue prayer and worship into the morning hours. Within that time I was reminded of the Lord's true love for me (kind of a recent theme), and my unquestionable need for Him. As I read through Romans 8 the Lord made this extremely clear:

..."but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!'"...

...."the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words"...

..."Christ Jesus is the one who died--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us"... 

..."nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

As it got to be around 5am, I found myself in a state of weakness and vulnerability. My voice was tired of singing and my fingers sore from playing, but that's when He stepped in. Why won't you let Me provide you with strength Jordan? "Because I'm worshiping you. Wouldn't that be counterproductive?" Nope. In that moment I was reminded that I even need His help to worship Him. Worship isn't a simple task I pursue individually. No, it's an intricately woven meeting of my heart with His. 

What the Lord's been teaching me this week: 
-I'm still in need of constant reminders of His love for me. 
-I'm still in need of constant reminders of my desperation and need for Him. 

I've been horrible at taking pics these last couple of weeks, so here's some more from earlier in the summer:

 Spending the day at Kind Coffee with Sharon, Meagan, and Julie. 

Enjoying some Hayley's Ice Cream in Estes. 

I found snow! (On the Emerald Lake hike.)

Read More

Why Me?

I know I haven't posted in a while, but Christmas break was VERY busy! I was blessed with great time with my family and friends, an awesome first experience at the OneThing Conference, and a fun-filled trip to Estes Park, CO. However, I'm mainly going to be focusing on the OneThing Conference.

For a while now I've been following the 24/7 prayer room at IHOP (International House of Prayer) in Kansas City, but had never actually been. I had heard about OneThing (IHOP's winter conference), but for one reason or another I kept making excuses why I couldn't go. This year I decided that it was going to happen!! We got a small group together from our church and all met up there. 

 Recently, I had been feeling absent-minded in worship--like I was just going through the motions. Having experienced this place before, I'm aware of its effects. I knew I didn't want to fall into that again. Prior to the conference, I began praying for God to really stir my heart in worship again and to literally feel his presence. 

So, here's my experience...

Walking into the first worship session of the conference was completely overwhelming. As we were walking to our seats I was able to take in what 20,000+ people worshipping looked like. Scanning the audience, I could see people praying, singing, kneeling, laying, and dancing. Later that night, we came back for the evening worship session. I began praying for my heart to be inviting of his presence. I wanted to be real with myself and God--to genuinely sing praises, not empty words. Here's part of a journal entry I wrote on my experience that night:

"I felt your presence so clearly...I kept getting floods over my stomach...a warm sensation, yet cool at the same time. The waves happened several times...that was the first time I had truly experienced your presence...catching a glimpse of your heart and intentions for worship..."

During that time I also had a picture of my wedding day. I remember seeing myself standing at the end of the aisle preparing to walk to the altar, but I felt completely ashamed. My dress was tattered and torn, leaving my eyes fixed to the floor with feelings of unworthiness flooding over me. As I looked up towards the altar, I saw Jesus. He looked back at me with a radiant smile. He was beaming at the sight of me, even to the point of tears. I couldn't understand it. Why me? What is there to love about me? 

The next morning at the conference I felt extremely anxious. I decided to go down to the prayer room and journal--attempting to process through what was going on. As I began writing I realized I was feeling this way about the picture I had gotten the night before. Why me? What is there to love about me? Frantically flipping through my Bible, I found several verses stating Jesus' love for us. However, none of them answered the question why? 

I still don't fully understand why Jesus chooses to love us, but here are some conclusions I've come to since that day at the conference:

1) Jesus loves me because I was created for him. I was created as his bride. My purpose is being his lover. Just like a marriage, he desires me as a husband does. As the bride, I am pursued and adored by him. 

2) Before Jesus, God could not have a relationship with us because of our sin. His way to get rid of our sin was to send Jesus to die for us. "Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit" (1 Peter 3:18). 

I'm continuing to pray for more understanding of Jesus' love for me, but like I said before, I don't know if I will ever fully be able to comprehend it. His love is said to be boundless, indescribable, and limitless. Just thinking about those words humbles my heart towards him! 

Read More